In my opinion, there is nothing better than a late night deep conversation about life. I thrive on moments like this. I am truly blessed that God has brought someone into my life who also loves these kinds of conversations, or at least has them with me.
And what is even better, although it doesn't seem like it at the time, is being challenged in those moments. Having someone look you square in the eye and ask something that you don't know the answer to. I recently had one of these conversations/challenge moments.
The question at hand..."What do you believe is the gift that God gave you to use in your life?"
"Well, humph...I'm not sure"- Me
"Then pray about it to figure it out."
Even though, I know this, sometimes its hard. Sometimes its hard to pray to figure it out instead of just standing on...I don't know, but I'm sure it'll come to me some day.
So, today as I sit down to read my Bible. I turn to 1 Peter and it reads...
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothing. Instead it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful.
~1 Peter 3:3-6
Problem solved? Ok, not exactly but it is the cracking open of an insight. This verse alone has shed some light into what it is that God has given me to use in this life. I'm not going to begin diving into it all, but I feel like there has been some light shed on this darkness. The doubting that I just couldn't figure it out. Or that it had to be something completely grand and extravagant. But the beautiful thing about it is that it doesn't have to be. It doesn't have to be something that we struggle to do, it's a gift. God created us all to do something different. And it just opened my eyes and my heart to the joy that this is what God created me for. That this is my gift to the world to help spread the Kingdom. Sweet...it's always so great to realize that we are who we are because we were created that way and there was a purpose in that creation.
And in this realized, I began to reflect on two of the most influential people throughout my life...and they have the same name. Grandma.
Sadly, my Grandma Norma passed away nearly 8 years ago. But she too, lived a life of love and caring for others. She always had an open door policy and taking care of her family was of the utmost importance. She is so dearly missed, but a great woman to have known.
These two women have significantly shaped my existence, desire and helped me to see my purpose through their gentle and quiet spirits. All you can do is to say Thank you Lord, for my gift to this life and for those who have gone before me and modeled it so well.