on loving well

Last night the hubs and I finished a four week book study at our church on the 5 Love Languages. I know a lot of people are familiar with the love language concept, but if you're not let me give you a brief overview. Essentially, there are five basic ways in which people give and receive love. Although the study we did was for married couples, this is not specific for marriage necessarily, so don't think that if you're not married that this doesn't apply to you. Because it does. Anyway, the five different languages are

• words of affirmation
• physical touch
• quality time
• acts of service
• gifts

People tend to have a primary love language and often a secondary. This is how one feels loved by others. The book uses the term "love tank" to use as a way of measuring how loved your feel. There isn't a right way or a wrong way to receive love. There are just different ways. And, I think, once you understand how a person feels loved, it really helps you understand them in a new way. I really could go on for awhile about this topic but I'll spare you, so if you are interested in learning more check out the website or the book. I really enjoy Gary Chapman and his books and I think this is a pretty quick and easy read.

I had read this book before I started dating J so I was very familiar with my love language: quality time. I knew that was how I best feel loved by others and often is my ideal way to spend my time with people I care about. However, reading this book now after being married a year was insightful in a new way. Even though we're relatively new to the marriage train, it is still helpful to understand how I can show my husband how that I love him.

The hubs love language is words of affirmation, which is my lowest love language. And it is pretty common for you and your spouse to not have the same primary love language. So that isn't a big surprise. What has come as a surprise to me over the past year is how poorly I am with that specific language. As soon as I learned (thanks to my mom) which was j's love language, I knew why God had brought us together. While I love to write and love to talk, I am not so good with expressing myself verbally with words of affirmation. I always thought that I was awesome at pretty much anything to do with talking because, frankly, I do it a lot. But come to find out, I stink at telling my husband (or anyone else for that matter) how I appreciate them. And when that is the primary way your husband feels loved, it can be a bit of an issue.

I have worked some at trying to improve my skills in this area. Now after taking this class, I realized that just trying a little isn't good enough. My husband deserves to know how much he is loved in a way that speaks loudest to him. And while it is uncomfortable and somewhat awkward for me to express myself this way, it is something that I must learn to do and try to do well. Thankfully, I have learned this early in our marriage and hopefully I can continue to get better at it because my husband is great. He deserves to know that each and every day.

So if this is a new concept to you, I encourage you to check it out. It could really make a big impact in all your relationships.

what i'm reading (or not)

Confession: I started reading Pride & Prejudice, because I had never done so, and I made it a couple chapters into the book and I just can't get into it. I feel like I'm spitting in the face of classic literature because I just am having such a hard time staying engaged. I really want to like it, but am not sure if I'm willing to continue reading just for the sake of saying I read it.

Agh, I feel better...sort of. I still feel bad. I feel like I should just dive right into it and be engaged, interested and excited to read the next page. I tried, but I'm just not that interested. I've read many books that I can't wait until the next time I read, but I'm not finding that with this one. Oh well, guess I'm just not as into the classics as I thought.

So I back to square one, trying to figure out what to read next. I'm currently book-less, which is rare. I usually have more than one book I'm reading at a time, but now I find myself without a book of interest. I recently finished Carry On, Warrior: Thoughts on Life Unarmed by Glennon Melton. I loved this book! I found myself laughing out loud on multiple occasions. While many of the topics are related to difficult topics, the way she delivers them are just funny. She is the writer of the blog Momastery, which is primarily related to parenting, but regardless of your life stage, it's a great read.

Now this is where you come in-- I'm looking for my next read (or two) so any recommendations of books you've recently finished would be greatly appreciated. So please share!

Until next time...

Bread & Wine

 

If you've been around my corner of the blog world, you've probably noticed that I enjoy the occasional tasty dish and sharing it with good people. As a matter of fact, I've written about it a few times, like here and here. Cooking and good food are a big part of my story, so naturally when I found out that my favorite author was writing a book about life around the table, I was stoked. 

You've also probably heard me say that Shauna Niequist is my most favorite writer. I love pretty my much anything she writes, whether it's on her blog, an online article or a book. She has such a beautiful way of looking at life and the world and puts it into words better than anyone I've read. Plus, she just seems cool-- I'd be friends with if she offered, just saying. So, when I found out that I would be getting an early edition of her upcoming book to read and review, again, I was stoked.

I inhaled Bread & Wine just about quickly as I do a piece of chocolate cake. I couldn't put it down. I looked forward to each opportunity I got to pick it back up again. Shauna's short story writing style has a way of pulling you in, in such a way, that grabs at your heart. Her stories aren't necessarily of big life events, although a few are, or tragic tales, although a few are, but of the ordinary day to day. 

If you read anything she writes, it's pretty easy to tell that Shauna loves to entertain and cook, but most of all, she loves the people in her life. One of the best features of this book is that serves, not just as another great memoir, but it includes the recipes that are connected to her stories. It seems that Shauna has a natural gift for bringing people together and typically, the most common method is through food. So after you read the story about her tale of running a full marathon-- you can read about the harvest salad that she loves so much when she was training. (Side note: I made that salad on Monday and it got a big thumbs up!) Or you can find a recipe for flourless brownies, or watermelon and feta salad, or mango-curry chicken, or risotto or her favorite enchiladas. You get the idea. And I've tried multiple recipes and haven't been disappointed yet.

Regardless of the great recipes, I fell in love with this book because something about creating community around the dinner table and being real and present with those you love resonates so deeply within me. It's something that we need much more of in this life. Her writing energized my soul in its own way and I plan to read it again, very soon. But even if you aren't much of a reader, at least check out the recipes.

Definitely check out Shauna and more of her writing on her website. 

Oh, and you can purchase the book on Amazon, too.

Shauna Niequist is the author of Cold Tangerines and Bittersweet, and Bread & Wine. Shauna grew up in Barrington, Illinois, and then studied English and French Literature at Westmont College in Santa Barbara. She is married to Aaron, who is a pianist and songwriter. Aaron is a worship leader at Willow Creek and is recording a project called A New Liturgy. Aaron & Shauna live outside Chicago with their sons, Henry and Mac. Shauna writes about the beautiful and broken moments of everyday life--friendship, family, faith, food, marriage, love, babies, books, celebration, heartache, and all the other things that shape us, delight us, and reveal to us the heart of God.

what I'm reading

Summer is such a great time to catch up on all the books you've collected and have yet to read. Whether its by the pool, on the front porch or lounging at the beach, it's the best time to get lost in a good read. I have a habit of starting a book and not finishing it before I start the next one. I'm almost always reading two or three books over the same time frame. This is what I'm reading right now.

I started this book after I heard about it from another blogger. To be honest, there is nothing super amazing about it. However, it's a really great story. Its told from multiple perspectives but centers around the main character Ramona. She is a baker who has had an eventful life. There is a lot of feeling to the story and whenever I pick it up, I end up reading for much longer than I meant to. Also, there are tons of recipes at the ends of the chapters. I can't wait to try some of the breads.

First off, I love pretty much anything Gary Chapman writes. He writes mostly book regarding human relationships, personality types, and marriage. Since those are my favorite topics, you can probably tell why I like reading his books so much. This book was no different. I found this incredibly insightful, honest, a bit unsettling, and really hard to put down. Now it could be because I do love the topic so much and its pretty relevant to my stage in life, but I loved this book. I would definitely recommend it to anyone who is dating, seriously dating, engaged or newly married. It's definitely eye opening. There are even questions and exercise for you to go through, if you want to take an extra step. Jake is probably glad I'm done reading this book because a lot of my sentences started out as "So you know what I read in that marriage book..." Gary Chapman goes though the major topics, areas of conflict, areas of untruth,  and biggest points of frustration that he and his wife went through during the beginning of their rocky marriage. Don't worry though, he is also a licensed counselor so his advice comes with some validity. I realize that by reading this book it won't make our marriage perfect but at least it opened my eyes to what may be normal that may not always seem normal and help us build a solid martial foundation.

I started reading this book because it is one of my favorite authors, favorite authors. I assumed that I would probably love it because if she was anything like her writing style it would be awesome. It definitely was different than I anticipated. It was significantly more edgy than any other "faith" books I've read before. The beginning chapters really took me for surprise. It was a bit hard to get into it but every now and then I find myself really enjoying it. It has taken me much longer to read than I thought but I think at the end of it I will be pleased. I'll keep you posted.

These are the books that are filling my nightstand these days. Tell me...what are you reading?

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I would also like to briefly mention that today is my sweet grandma Norma's birthday. And although she isn't physically here to celebrate with us, it doesn't take away the fact that a beautiful, special woman was born today. She is forever loved and missed.

words

There is nothing more beautiful than the art of the written word. Whether it's a story, poetry, blog, or a mere quote. There is something powerful in words. They hold substance and value. They give life to the lifeless and love to the loveless.

Right now, I'm finding myself getting caught up in this book, Cold Tangerines. It's beautiful and a story of grace that combines lots of short stories about her life and its lessons. This is the second book of hers that I've read and it is keeps me turning the page for hours. I love her style of writing and find myself in a lot of her experiences. This story moves me and helps me find places inside that can get overlooked.

I hope that some day I am able to use my words to move people. To give them words that encourage and motivate. To allow people to find freedom in my stories and experiences.

That's what is so beautiful about life, even if you don't feel like it, there is always someone that has gone through whatever it is that you're going through. We're meant to share in this life with one another. During times of pain, sorrow, betrayal, joy and hope, we were created to lean, comfort and celebrate with each other.

And when that's too much. Books have that ability to take you to a completely different place, but not just a place, a completely different mindset. They are a modern time machine. Yet, they are so classic. There is nothing that can replace them. And I think that one perfect example of that type of books is The Hunger Games. Yes, it's the most recent Hollywood release, but the books are so incredibly written. You just can't flip the pages fast enough. Do yourself a favor and read them.

So many stories to be read and so many stories to be written. Dive in.

A good book

Ok, my two week post-vacation hiatus is over. There was a lot to catch up on for those couple weeks. But I am back and ready to go...

Now that I am not longer in college I have grown rather fond of books. They no longer represent a responsibility, but a joy. There is something about a good book that is just so refreshing. I never thought of myself as much of a reader, growing up or in college, but now as I continue to develop my writing I seem to enjoy good literature just that much more.

One problem I do have when I read is starting too many books at one time. Most likely I am reading 3 different books at a time. Yet, I think that is somewhat representative of my life at this point. I am usually not focused on one specific thing, but multiple. I may have a slight case of ADD there, but oh well.

Anyway, with technology constantly bombarding my life and a job where I continuously stare at a computer screen, I really love opening a book, reading the words and flipping the pages. I get a lot of satisfaction out of seeing how much I've read, let alone the story itself. There is something wonderful about getting lost in the pages of a book and leaving everything else behind.

There truly is nothing better than a rainy day, a blanket, a cup of coffee and a great read. I want to share with you the three books currently grabbing my attention.

My mom recommended this one. I've heard good things from lots of people, so I am excited to get more into it!

If you've never read a Mitch Albom book, you're missing out. He also wrote Tuesdays With Morrie and The Five People You Meet in Heaven. I absolutely love his stories and the way he writes. They're an easy read and usually tug at the heart strings, but its definitely worth it!

One Thousand Gifts was recommended to me by a dear friend who knows my appreciation for good writing. I've just started this one, but so far its a challenging book that looks at the human relationship with God....my favorite kind!








Grab a new book and rip open the pages...enjoy the simplicity of a good story!

PS- I'm always open to new book suggestions...so please share