What Makes Me Who I Am Today...

Story time:

Last night, I was waiting to meet a student to prepare him for his first class beginning today. As I'm waiting, I decide to sit outside and enjoy the beautiful weather. Not too long after I've been sitting there, another man, in his late 40's or so, asks me if I will watch his bag while he runs inside. "Sure, not a problem" I tell him.  I notice he's reading a Christian book. I always look at what other people are reading, helps me get an idea of possibly what kind of person they might just be. You know, judging a person by their book cover :)

After he comes back out, he notices my papers and ask if I'm a teacher. I smile and say no, but I work with a lot of them. Then I proceed to explain to him where I work and what I do. The conversation leads into a high level conversation. He was a very nice man. He explained to me why he is now in Indiana and what his life has been like up to this point.

Apparently, he has worked with a lot of battered women and helped people figure our their life in sorts. I never fully understood some of what he was talking about, but a couple things he said sort of struck me. First, he apologized to me for all of the "bad" things that some men have done to women. Not a specific situation, just in general. He said to me "there are probably some things that some men have done that hurt you, and I'm sorry for that."

I thought to myself..."I've never been hit by someone, but yeah I could say I've been hurt."

We've all be hurt by other people, but it's nice to have those feelings validated. Which led me to think about how God has brought a great great man into my life to show me what real love means. He has give me someone who goes above and beyond what I could ever ask for, who loves and gives of himself so greatly. I don't think I will ever be able to full give Jake the credit he deserves for the truly wonderful man that he is. God really knew what he was doing when he made Jake and when He patiently waited for me to allow him into my life.

Next, the man, who's name is Rob by the way, looked at me and asked...so "what makes you who you are? You seem mature and well spoken for someone your age." I smile and politely say thank you and I begin to think of my answer. The first thing I thought to say was "Oh boy, I don't know you that well and that's a really long story to tell. There is a whole lot of stuff that makes me who I am." But that's not what I told him.

I simply replied, "I come from a really great family, I'm well support and grew up with small town values." Albeit, true -- that was my safe answer. My student soon arrived and I carried on with my work. I said good bye to the man as I left and that was about the end of the story.

Until, this morning when I read this verse...

But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.
~1 Peter 3:15

Then it struck me. Duh, Shana! Even though I have a truly wonderful family, the real answer to why I am the way I am is because of grace. I have hope because of Jesus. I have been saved and redeemed by God the Father in Heave and that is the real reason why I am the way that I am.

I felt very convicted this morning as I thought about how my answer yesterday was not what I really should have said. I went the safe route...not the faithful route.

So, why am I the way that I am...because I am a child of the Almighty who has so lovely poured his grace and mercy over my life. I don't deserve it, but I can live in the freedom of knowing who I am in Christ.

That is the true reason.

Finally, moved!

I feel as though I've ignored my blog for the past week, which is basically true. I've been swamped at work and packing, moving, and unpacking in any free time. Blah. Plus, I currently don't have Internet access at home, which makes it just a little difficult to check on my blog.

But, the move was successful. Now I'm trying to get settled and find everything a home for the next 10 months of its life. I have been extremely blessed to have some really incredible friends and family help me during the moving process. I am so incredibly grateful for them all.

I miss my roommates and talking with them...so Meg and T (if you read this) I hope you know that you are missed by both me and Winnie. She asks about you often :)

Anyway, I will soon return with pictures of the new pad, once it's all put together and livable by my standards. Aka - pictures are hung up!

So for now, Happy Tuesday.

Try to find some time for rest. I know I need to and desperately looking forward to it!

Purple Rain

I never meant to cause you any sorrow
I never meant to cause you any pain
I only wanted one time to see you laughing
I only wanted to see you laughing in the purple rain.

Ok, so I'm not really singing the Prince song Purple Rain.  Purple Rain is actually the color of my new bedroom. 

I feel like I've been a painting fool this past week and I'm not even half way done! I am in the process of painting my new home...the bedroom, the living room, the dining room...lots of paint. If you've ever been to a home improvement store you know that the color selection is beyond overwhelming. 

But for me, when if comes to color I am pretty predictable. I have two favorite colors. Purple and White. And these are the two color I've selected for a good majority of my new place. No, I'm not painting the whole house purple, but it will be around. 

As I was picking out paint, it got me wondering about what draws us to certain colors. Why are some people draw to this color or that color. Why do I love white so much? So I looked up the meaning of colors.

Purple: It's associated with royalty, wisdom, dignity, independence, creativity, mystery, and magic. It symbolizes power, nobility, luxury, and ambition. 

White:  It is associated with light, goodness, innocence, purity, and virginity. It is considered to be the color of perfection. (and we all know I'm a bit of a perfectionist).

There is something simple about white. Something simple that reminds me of simple things. I don't need a lot of variety of colors or bright and bold colors, just something that is beautiful.

For me, there is great beauty and serenity in those colors and I love being surrounded by them. I can't wait til it's all finished and I can sit and enjoy the hard work. Makes me excited just thinking about it. Therefore, I should probably get back to work!

Oh, but in honor of the big win last night...Go JP!

Chickens, Contentment, and Chocolate

Let's just say last week, this week and next week are more stuffed than the turkey on Thanksgiving Day! There is a whole lot going on in a short amount of time.

• One trip to Illinois
• Work Conference in Nashville (where I didn't have enough time to see my friends...sad)
• Boyfriends moving
• Working extra days
• Painting and packing
• Moving
• 2 Family Reunions (which I may or may not get to attend)
• Painting and Unpacking
• Plus work, puppy and sleep

Ok, I didn't make that to make it seem like I was busier than everyone else. I just really like making lists! But, last week I had absolutely wonderful time at the fair with my family.  Here is a brief recap of a few of the things I experience...

Today as I was reading, I came across this verse:

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.
~Philippians 4:11-13

It was such a beautiful reminder to be content in all situations. Life can be very full, or it can be very different than you imagined. Or it can be exactly as you planned. Whatever the situation, be content and be thankful. God will always supply what ever you need...He will provide enough.

I am feeling just so blessed right now. I have all that I need and I am feeling very content. Life is good. God is good. My heart smiles.

PS- There is nothing to do with chocolate in this post, so if that's why you read it. I'm sorry.

My Favorite Week of the Year

Christmas may be my favorite day of the year...but this week is by far my most favorite week of the year. Ever.

It's Fair Week!

Yep, you're about to find out just how small town/country girl I may actually be. You see...the county fair is a really big deal where I come from. The county basically shuts down. Seriously. Because everyone is at the fair.

I grew up at the fair. I grew up looking forward to fair week more than any other time of the year. It was a time when all my family was together for a week. Grandma now lived just ten steps away, and I was surrounded by friends. Then there is the food, elephant ears, the church tent, corn dogs, cotton candy, caramel apples and, my favorite, orange shake ups. Oh man....it makes my mouth water just thinking about it.

I still love the fair. I love going to the fair. I love walking around. I love the smell of the animals, the noise of the pigs and cow. I love seeing 4-H projects and seeing people I only see at the fair. I love the demolition derby and the draft horse show. I love playing ski ball with my brother (who isn't going to get to come this year because he's saving lives in Ecuador right now). I love walking through the animal barns. I love petting the cow's noses. But mostly I love spending hours with my family, laughing, sitting around, and playing cards. It's my favorite way to spend my time.

Not to mention the pageant. Yep...the county fair queen pageant. I competed in it and was blessed to be crowned queen in 2007. There is a very special place in my heart for it. But that's another blog for another time.

Milking the goat

Tomorrow I head back to Illinois for a few days at the fair. Needless to say...I cannot wait!

Then on Saturday I will be blessed to watch roommate Meg and Kev finally tie the knot!! Woo Hoo!

Then off to a work conference for a few days in Nashville. Whew. Tired just thinking about it. But it's all going to be so much fun.

I will return with pictures of animals...lots of them!

Home Sweet Home

In the past six years, I've lived at six different addresses. For the first 18 years of my life, I lived at the same address. So moving every year has been a big adjustment for me. And in two weeks, I will yet again be changing my address.

I have found that each place I've lived has its own personality. Each with a character of its own and once you move your things and people into each place they become alive. I've learned to purge and pack. Stuff and load. Unpack and organize. Clean and settle. I feel as if I've mastered packing and moving.

Mom and I in my current kitchen

Although I'm not looking forward to all the work that comes with moving, there is something exciting about making space your own. I can't wait to add my personal touch to make my new house cozy and Shanesque. With all that said, I cannot wait for the day when I can find a house of my own. A place where I can come home each day, park my car in the garage, have a yard for Winnie to run around in, have dinner with my family, do home improvement tasks on the weekends, and have lots of friends come to visit. What I guess I'm saying is I'm excited for the day when I can make a home.

Although, that is not where I'm at currently in my life journey, I can look forward to that time. But, for now I have to continue to learn how to be content and I have come to understand the phrase "home is where your heart is". I may not have a home of my own, but home, I have found, is who I'm with. It's the people that make a home, than the structure.

I grew up in a great house on a great street, but it was the people in it that made it home. And someday it will be the people who live there that make my home.

And now some pictures of Winnie...

When she was wittle.

Sweet moments.

Home.

Guilty Pleasure

My guilty pleasure in life is...dah dah dah

ABC's The Bachelor & The Bachelorette

Let me start by saying: Yes, I know its a reality TV show. Yes, I realize most of the couples are not together now. Yes, I realize that the ABC producers do a wonderful job at editing.

Now with that out of the way, I can't help it, but I do love the show. I've been an avid fan since Season 1 when Alex Michel broke Trista's heart and picked Amanda Marsh to receive the final rose.

But, I was really ok with that because Trista came back the next season for The Bachelorette and introduced the world to Ryan Sutter. They are the one couple who has manged to live the reality show fairy tale. They're still married and have two kids. Plus, they're just beautiful people.

Seriously, how adorable are they! I was a little bit obsessed with them. Confessions: I taped their entire wedding episodes and probably watched it multiple times. 

I've watched every season, minus one. I chose not to watch it because I wasn't a fan of the bachelor they selected. He shall go nameless. But other than that I've watched everything to when Bob cracked up everyone on the show, when DeAnna managed to make a presence in three seasons, when Jason picked Melissa then changed his mind, to Jake and Vienna's awful relationship, Ali sobbing over Jake, everyone falling in love with single mom Emily who lost the love of her life in a plane crash. To most recently, Bentley leaving Ashley to go "be with his daughter."

Yes, it is just a TV show, but its not to far off from every girls dreams to fly around the world and live a life of being wooed and multiple men trying to sweep her off her feet every time they see her. Although, as I'm maturing and seeing the show for what it is. I tend to be a bit turned off by the fact that one person is in a significant relationship with multiple people, and the other is fully aware of it. Let's be honest...that's not normal and may even be classified as cheating. But who am I to judge, right?!? I still enjoy watching. Like I said...guilty pleasure.

If today I was given the chance to be on the show, I would have to turn it down because I already live in reality. And I'm already am in love...with just one man.

 

For my momma:

He will cover you with his feathers, 

and under his wings you will find refuge;

his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

~Psalm 91:4